She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
