I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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