At least make sure they are 18
Why
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
