I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
