That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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