Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
it hurts more in the daytime
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Green mimosas i think yes
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
