I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
