Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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