If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
