could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
