my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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