Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
