She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize