I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
