Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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