I need help removing her.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I need water and some morals
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