Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
