Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
