I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
