The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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