they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
