Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.