At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information