Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection

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(734): Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection http://tfl.nu/jo45

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?

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(215): is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night? http://tfl.nu/ftgg

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(402): View more from Nebraska

meow

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.

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(402): meow (1-402): WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD. http://tfl.nu/2v4y

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.

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(412): im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems. http://tfl.nu/58jb

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(703): View more from Virginia

i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps

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(703): i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps http://tfl.nu/14e5

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(203): View more from Connecticut

all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"

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(203): all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober" http://tfl.nu/2nrl

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(979): View more from Texas

we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?

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(979): we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us? http://tfl.nu/rk36

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(785): View more from Kansas

My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.

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(785): My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/kbij

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(908): View more from New Jersey

he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.

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(908): he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me. http://tfl.nu/x367

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(908): View more from New Jersey

So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.

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(908): So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all. http://tfl.nu/ms6m

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(631): View more from New York

He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.

(205): View more from Alabama

I hate freshman.

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(631): He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them. (205): I hate freshman. http://tfl.nu/44or

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.

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(717): Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too. http://tfl.nu/67rw

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(510): View more from California

Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me

(206): View more from Washington

That is an interesting fear as well as image

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(510): Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me (206): That is an interesting fear as well as image http://tfl.nu/r0xy

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(801): View more from Utah

It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).

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(801): It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word). http://tfl.nu/10dp

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?

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(401): Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer? http://tfl.nu/q3x6

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