just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?