I don't usually arrange sex via text message
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
