Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
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How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
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It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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