i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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