I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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