whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
