You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Michael Bay diarrhea
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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