she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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