Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
