so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
