Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
