so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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