Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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