By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
