If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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