Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
