Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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