That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
