This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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