I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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