She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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