I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
