just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
