I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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