So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
