So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize