So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
