It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
