Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
