Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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