So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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