and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
