he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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