just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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