I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Randomize
