How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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