TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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