You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
