He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
