I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
